Never Uncouth

“NOW LET US NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN”

Ian Jones and Steve Williams on the second decade of The Simpsons

Posted on November 15th, 2008 by Retehi
Filed under: Blurb | No Comments »

Friday the 13th (2009) - The Official Teaser [High Quality]

Posted on November 10th, 2008 by Retehi
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Why I Don’t Like World of Warcraft

Ok I’ll be fair, I haven’t played the darn game yet, which should make my opinion invalid, right? Well maybe, but one thing can turn off a potential customer. For me, it’s the character design. Yes, Blizzard has created a colorful, almost cartoon-ish world, which a lot of people like, heck it impresses me, but for god’s sakes, the races you can choose are anywhere from awful looking, to just bland. Here’s my rundown to show you why WoW turns me off:

Humans
Humans

The only race I think looks sexy in WoW. Rugged, charming, old school. But who plays these sorts of games to be a Human? I had no choice in Phantasy Star Universe, but that’s another story.

Looks: 9/10

Blood Elves

I’ll start by saying now, I don’t like elves. I didn’t like them in Everquest, I don’t like them to this day. All I ever think about are delicious little cookies whenever I see an elf. Way to be menacing. Anyway, this is obviously a personal thing, so whatever.

Looks: 0/10

Tauren
Tauren

Mildly interesting, but I’m not particularly fond of hulking, large characters. Plus the prospect of having every person “moo”, or act like a matador near me sounds unappealing. But from an aesthetic, unbiased approach, they’re 2nd to Humans for me.

Looks: 7/10

Draenei
Draenei

A newer, somewhat more eye pleasing race, Draenei look like a gene splicing of Tauren (males anyway), and Night Elves. Like I said, I never played the game, but I heard they have Russian accents. . pretty big plus there! But again, I don’t like Incredible Hulk physiques. “Play a female then!”. Believe me, I have before in other games. Not fun when the large demographic playing is 15 year old kids.

Looks: 6/10

Dwarves
Dwarves

Stout, short, drunk. 2 out of 3 ain’t bad. Short characters aren’t for me, but I can’t complain much about these guys.

Looks: 7/10

Gnomes
Gnomes

Jesus wept, look at those ears! If they had the racial ability to steal underpants, then I’d be sold. Not in this case though.

Looks: 3/10

Night Elves

Ears that’d make Will Smith giggle. Which is a given with any elven race. 1 point though for the physiques.

Looks: 1/10

Trolls
Trolls

Just plain ol’ weird looking. They fit perfectly in the WoW world, but they have a face only a mom could love. Jamaican accents are a plus though.

Looks: 3/10

Orcs
Orcs

After playing much Dawn of War: Dark Crusade, anything that’s green skinned, and doesn’t shout WAAAAAAAAAGH pales in comparison. Of course the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are an exception, but picturing them crying the trademark, soccer riot cheer of our Orkish friends would be pretty sweet.

Oh right, uhhh. . Yeah, not really fond of the WoW Orcs. But another potential buy if they were like this:

WAAAAAAAGH

Looks: 5/10. The above picture gets 100/10

Undead
Undead

This would be my main choice if I were tied up, and forced at gunpoint to play WoW. And they’re not as revolting as the rest of the Horde races. Hey, we have a winner!

Looks: 8/10

Many things are a factor in me not playing this game. Time, money, commitment. God damn, this games like getting a wife, complete with nagging, and screaming (Vent). But as said, the character designs are extremely sporadic for me, ranging to Beer brand Beer dull, to the “Falling down the ugly tree” variety.

Posted on November 9th, 2008 by Retehi
Filed under: Why | No Comments »